Category Archives: Curtain Jerker

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Curtain Jerker: Worst Color Commentator Ever?

76 Submitted by on Mon, 06 May 2013, 09:30
Ok, discussion over on the latest Saturday Morning Slam report has focused on the horrendosity that is Brad Maddox.  In my estimation, he is one of, if not the, worst color commentator of all time.  What say ye? Post your comments below!...
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Curtain Jerker 3/25/13

19 Submitted by on Mon, 25 March 2013, 07:00
Hey, I finally remembered to do one! Since we’re headed into WrestleMania, why not ask who your favorite WrestleMania celebrity of all time is?...
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Curtain Jerker 3/14/13: Underrated WM Matches

20 Submitted by on Thu, 14 March 2013, 07:00
In your mind, what is the most underrated match in WrestleMania history? It could be a midcard match that you feel doesn’t get the credit it deserves, or perhaps even a match that others dump on that you find better than its criticism. Personal pick: JYD/Santana vs. The Funks from WM2. Folks say that Bulldogs vs. Dream Team is the Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker 3/13/13: The Lowlight Reel

5 Submitted by on Wed, 13 March 2013, 07:00
Sorry, keep forgetting to do these. Damn other thoughts…. But anyway, let’s chatter about that abomination from Monday, where Brad Maddox, Chris Jericho, The Miz, and Wade Barrett had a wholly godawful talking segment, spurred by four issues. -It was nothing more than a bit of business to promote 2 in-house movies (one of which made $5.4M its opening weekend Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker: Zeb Coulter

17 Submitted by on Wed, 20 February 2013, 08:00
Well, some in the mainstream press are picking up on Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter’s extremist views on immigration (or, if not extremist, at least uninhibited), which, if you remember JBL goosestepping in Germany 9 years ago, you know that Swagger’s closing in on the title, if not at WrestleMania, then sometime after. Whenever any performer is judged by the Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker 2/18/13: Chamber Fallout

8 Submitted by on Mon, 18 February 2013, 08:00
  That picture above? Oh yes, it happened. Which means Mr. Swagger will get to open WrestleMania, facing Alberto Del Rio for the WWE Brass Knuckles/Western States Heritage/European/Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title. Other than Swagger winning, and Rock sucking more wind than an Iowa-sized turbine, I have to say it was a damn fine show. The Shield are WWE’s most effective Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker 2/14/13: Cena’s Dirty Laundry

9 Submitted by on Thu, 14 February 2013, 08:00
What’s Valentines Day without a little discussion about sex and lies, minus the videotape? While we here at WrestleCrap don’t like to propagate anything that might be nothing more than hearsay, we can at least speculate about the meaning of something, particularly since Curtain Jerker’s for discussion that considers all viewpoints. By now, most of us know the rumors that Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker, 2/13/13: Chamber Memories

10 Submitted by on Wed, 13 February 2013, 08:00
Just a quick one before I go to bed, since I can’t think of much else. Of the 15 Elimination Chamber matches that have taken place in WWE history, what matches, moments, and spots are most memorable to you? My pick: Shawn winning the World Heavyweight title. I was a jaded know-it-all then (not much has changed), but since Shawn Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker, 2/11/13: Grammy-Worthy Themes

30 Submitted by on Mon, 11 February 2013, 08:00
  Real quick and dirty: after I posted that WrestleCrap was protesting the Grammys, due to Jive Soul Bro winning NOTHING 25 years ago, a number of you on Facebook agreed, at least tongue in cheek. I ask, besides Slick’s classic ditty, what are some of the best themes sung by the actual wrestlers/managers themselves?...
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Curtain Jerker, 2/7/13: Reducing WWE

15 Submitted by on Thu, 07 February 2013, 08:00
  After TNA made the decision to scale back their live PPVs to just 4 a year, that opens the door to the possibility of WWE doing the same. This is especially true if they can pull off this network idea once and for all, and turn a number of their lesser-bought PPVs into once-a-month free shows (which will seem Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker, 2/5/13: Wrestling’s Pinnacle

9 Submitted by on Tue, 05 February 2013, 08:00
Instead of asking you a question, today will be the WrestleCrap equivalent of “movie day”. For this presentation, WrestleCrap acknowledges the Silver Anniversary of The Main Event, professional wrestling’s highest-rated TV program in American history, with a 15.2 rating and 33 million viewers. It was on February 5, 1988, in RD’s hometown of Indianapolis that WWE Champion Hulk Hogan had Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker 2/4/13: Lewis and Benoit

33 Submitted by on Mon, 04 February 2013, 08:00
  Among other thoughts of mine, while watching Super Bowl XLVII, I couldn’t help but think about the sheer number of times the cameras panned to Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis….while he was on the sidelines. The NFL, much like WWE, tries to “tell stories” to supplement the action, as a way of using human-interest drek to reach people not necessarily Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker, 2/1/13: Gooker Fallout

37 Submitted by on Fri, 01 February 2013, 08:00
  So Claire Lynch and her oak-thick acting took home the 2012 Gooker Award. But is it what YOU voted for? Hell, if you listened to the RD and Blade Show, you know I didn’t, and I’ve already expressed my displeasure with you folks that chose Claire over Daniel Bryan’s “Gone in 18 Seconds”. So what DID you vote for? Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker, 1/31/13: Punk Redemption

19 Submitted by on Thu, 31 January 2013, 08:00
  So we’re a few days removed from CM Punk indignantly ‘jobbing to an elbow drop’ as some have termed it. Looks like the Pipe Bomb fire has died down a bit, and we’ve all accepted the fact that Cena and Rock will headline WrestleMania 29, not the Straight Edge Savior. But all is not lost. Punk’s in it for Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker, 1/24/13: Rumble Mark Memories

15 Submitted by on Thu, 24 January 2013, 08:00
  We here at WrestleCrap, if nothing else, like to pick the part of your brain in which memories lay, waiting for the opportune moment to roam freely. And what better place to go in your nostalgia-subconscia than your mark days? With the Royal Rumble just around the corner, I’m asking you guys to give me your best memories of Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker, 1/23/13: Promo Effects

15 Submitted by on Wed, 23 January 2013, 08:00
  So word from the newsies is that Cena’s show-ending promo from Raw went over about as well backstage as John Laurinaitis’ old dress code policy did. In other words, to Cena’s peers, his promo was garbage. To me, it was actually one of his less-annoying promos in recent times. Sure, he was a little off subject and irreverent, but Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker, 1/22/13

17 Submitted by on Tue, 22 January 2013, 11:16
  Just 5 more days from one of my favorite PPVs (a show I love so much and appreciate the history of, I even wrote this piece that runs today), so all Curtain Jerkers going forward will be based around said show. Real cut and dry: what is your favorite memory of the Royal Rumble match?...
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Curtain Jerker, 1/21/13: The Punk Clock

7 Submitted by on Mon, 21 January 2013, 08:00
  Assuming CM Punk drops the WWE Championship to The Rock in six days at the Royal Rumble, his reign counter will expire at 434 days. Or, 1 year, 2 months, and 7 days, if you wish to be fancy about it. We as fans do ask for longer reigns, sometimes, so that the championship means more when the titleholder Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker, 1/18/13: Taz Joins A&8

20 Submitted by on Fri, 18 January 2013, 08:00
  So the big swerve during the Bully Ray/Brooke Hogan wedding is…..Taz objected, and joined Aces & Eights. And…..I got nothing. I dug Taz’s schtick when he was in ECW; he was believable as a snarling pit fighter, even with his diminutive height. But other than his little one-move-match with Lawler at One Night Stand 2006, Taz hasn’t wrestled in Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker, 1/17/13: Main Event

12 Submitted by on Thu, 17 January 2013, 08:00
  Bad things about WWE Main Event: that awful theme song (“BOOLAYBOOLAYBOOOO”), Miz on commentary Good things about WWE Main Event: everything else I’m surprised more people aren’t raving about this show. Except for the occasional video break in the middle, done to recap Raw, it’s just pure wrestling. 2 matches, one lengthy one with 2 pushed talents, and one Continue Reading...
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Curtain Jerker, 1/16/13: You’re a Kid Again

24 Submitted by on Wed, 16 January 2013, 08:00
  One of the more common criticisms of WWE made by fans like you and I is that it’s too childish. From John Cena’s misguided bathroom humor, to broad sight gags, to Hornswoggle, it’s hard to be in your 20′s or 30′s, especially beyond, and love wrestling at times. But understandably, WWE would be foolish not to cater to the Continue Reading...
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