Category Archives: Headlies

The latest pro graps newz you won’t get anywhere else. Because it probably isn’t true. Probably.

Headlies: Evan Bourne Getting In Shape For His Return

9 Submitted by on Thu, 11 July 2013, 08:00
St. Louis, MO – WWE Superstar Evan Bourne has started a new training regime to prepare himself for his in-ring return following a horrific foot injury from over a year ago. “That injury was a blessing in disguise. It really gave me time to enjoy some of the finer things in life,” said a noticeably heftier Bourne. “I couldn’t really Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Little Girl Asks Her Father “Where Does Brad Maddox Come From?”

14 Submitted by on Thu, 04 July 2013, 08:30
Fall River, MA – 6 year-old wrestling fan Suzy Cabral was being tucked into her bed by her father Carlos when she asked him a very important life question. “Daddy, where does Brad Maddox come from?” asked Suzy. Carlos cringed at the question that every father hopes never to have to answer. He never thought the day would come when Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Rob Van Dam To Challenge Ryback For Airbrushed Tights

13 Submitted by on Tue, 25 June 2013, 09:00
North Charleston, NC – Returning Superstar Rob Van Dam issued a challenge to Ryback this past Monday Night on Raw that has sent shockwaves throughout the WWE Universe. “Duder, you can’t be running around in those sweet tights,” said an incredibly laid-back Van Dam. “You’re ganking my style and that is not cool, man. There’s only room for one guy Continue Reading...
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Headlies: CM Punk To Undergo “Adamantium Skeleton” Procedure

12 Submitted by on Fri, 21 June 2013, 12:00
Chicago, IL – In preparation for his match with Brock Lesnar, WWE wrestler CM Punk will be undergoing an experimental procedure to bond the unbreakable metal alloy Adamantium with his entire skeletal structure. Sporting extra large sideburns, CM Punk said, “Lesnar was a UFC champion, he broke Triple H’s arm, and he even endured the pain of being on a Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Triple H Excited To Completely Ruin Bray Wyatt

17 Submitted by on Tue, 18 June 2013, 10:00
Greenwich, CT – WWE Superstar and COO Triple H has been awake for hours, unable to sleep due to his excitement over totally ruining up-and-coming wrestler Bray Wyatt. Bray Wyatt and the Wyatt Family have been appearing in vignettes for the past few weeks on WWE television to rave reviews from fans and those in the business. Seeing the positive Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Teddy Long Makes Breakfast

12 Submitted by on Thu, 13 June 2013, 10:00
Houston, TX – Early Saturday morning, WWE Smackdown Senior Advisor Teddy Long decided to make himself a hearty breakfast featuring a wide variety of foods. A velvet robe-clad Long entered the kitchen and began taking pots, pans, bowls, and various kitchen utensils out of the cabinets. While he normally settles on something quick and easy for breakfast, Long decided to Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Damien Sandow Challenges Sheamus To A Game of Jenga

12 Submitted by on Fri, 07 June 2013, 12:30
Long Island, NY – WWE Smackdown, Damien Sandow, the intellectual savior of the masses, continued his literal mind games with Sheamus. Over the past few weeks, Sandow has been engaging the Celtic Warrior in a series of brain teasers and puzzles. During an in-ring segment in which he was joined by a large, covered object, Sandow revealed his latest challenge. Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Fan Remembers It’s Thursday, Still Doesn’t Watch TNA

12 Submitted by on Fri, 31 May 2013, 10:30
Pittsburgh, PA – At 9:18 pm yesterday, lifetime wrestling fan Robert Turcotte suddenly remembered that it was in fact Thursday night and that TNA Impact Wrestling was airing at that very moment. Despite his realization, Turcotte still managed to not watch the program. “I love wrestling. Always have, always will,” said the 33 year old Data Entry Specialist. “Whenever I Continue Reading...
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Headlies: RVD Utterly Confused By His Appearance On Raw

8 Submitted by on Mon, 27 May 2013, 07:00
Los Angeles, CA – Former WWE and TNA Superstar Rob Van Dam was utterly confused while watching the Paul Heyman segment on Monday Night Raw last week. When Paul Heyman revealed his newest client was the son of Mr. Perfect, Curt Axel, RVD stared at his television for several minutes in confused silence. After several years wrestling in TNA, many Continue Reading...
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Headlies: JTG Hiding From WWE Officials To Avoid Being Future Endeavored

15 Submitted by on Tue, 21 May 2013, 09:00
Kansas City, MO – Current WWE Superstar JTG has spent the past few days avoiding several WWE officials in an effort to keep his job with the company. Once one-half of the tag-team Cryme Tyme, the seldom-used wrestler has managed to stay on the company payroll despite lacking any sort of push or character growth. This past Friday saw several Continue Reading...
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