Category Archives: Headlies

The latest pro graps newz you won’t get anywhere else. Because it probably isn’t true. Probably.

Headlies: JEFF JARRETT SAVED CHYNA FROM SPCA ONE HOUR BEFORE EUTHANIZATION / GENERATION ME FINISH CHORES, ARE ALLOWED TO STAY UP TO WATCH IMPACT MAIN EVENT / INDY PROMOTION TO RUN “SUPER BLOODY DEATH TOURNAMENT”, SEEKING REC CENTER TO HOST IT

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:58
Text by Justin Henry, RD Reynolds, and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here JEFF JARRETT SAVED CHYNA FROM SPCA ONE HOUR BEFORE EUTHANIZATION By Justin Henry Nashua, NH – Fans were flabbergasted to discover that Joanie Lauer, professionally known as “Chyna”, had debuted at the TNA Impact tapings recently, playing Continue Reading...
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Headlies: CM PUNK TO LEAVE WWE, MAKE LIVING BUMMING MEALS FROM AWESTRUCK SMARKS / FORMER WWE INTERN ADMITS: “THOSE ‘DID YOU KNOWS’ ARE TOTAL BS”

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:53
Text by Justin Henry, RD Reynolds, and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here CM PUNK TO LEAVE WWE, MAKE LIVING BUMMING MEALS FROM AWESTRUCK SMARKS By Justin Henry Chicago, IL – It would appear that CM Punk has made the decision to end his near five-year tenure with World Wrestling Continue Reading...
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Headlies: WWE ALL-STARS LIKENESS OF HULK HOGAN TESTS POSITIVE FOR HGH / RONNIE GARVIN FELLS WOULD-BE ROBBER WITH HANDS OF STONE, GARVIN STOMP

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:51
Text by Justin Henry, RD Reynolds, and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here WWE ALL-STARS LIKENESS OF HULK HOGAN TESTS POSITIVE FOR HGH By Justin Henry San Diego, CA – THQ Headquarters has been rocked by scandal this week, as the digital likeness of Hulk Hogan, a prominent playable character Continue Reading...
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Headlies: JOHN CENA TO MENTOR SIN CARA, TEACH HIM HOW TO WRESTLE / RUMOR: VINCE MCMAHON HAVING AFFAIR WITH STAMFORD SUPERCUTS EMPLOYEE / DESTITUTE LEX LUGER SCRAPS STEEL FOREARM PLATE FOR CASH

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:48
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here JOHN CENA TO MENTOR SIN CARA, TEACH HIM HOW TO WRESTLE By Justin Henry London, England – After international lucha sensation Sin Cara (the man once known as Mistico) made a couple errors in judgment during his first televised Continue Reading...
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Headlies: EDGE HAS “NO PLANS” TO RETIRE FROM ADULTERY / REMINDER: APRIL 18 IS KANE’S “FACE TURN/HEEL TURN” CALENDAR DARTS NIGHT / TRIPLE H RETURNING NEW BLU-RAY PLAYER TO PAY FOR WRESTLEMANIA CHAIR SHOT FINE

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:46
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here EDGE HAS “NO PLANS” TO RETIRE FROM ADULTERY By Justin Henry Bridgeport, CT – With accumulated spinal injuries as the main culprit, 37 year old Adam Copeland, best known as “The Rated-R Superstar” Edge, relinquished the World Heavyweight Championship Continue Reading...
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Headlies: VIRGIL HAPPY TO HAVE WRESTLEMANIA STREAK IN TACT / RARE 1989 “DISS TAPE” FOUND IN WWE PRODUCTION STUDIOS / BOBBY WASHWEY WOOKING TO WEALWIZE POTENTHIAL OUTHIDE WING

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:44
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here VIRGIL HAPPY TO HAVE WRESTLEMANIA STREAK IN TACT By Justin Henry Pittsburgh, PA – March 24, 2011 marked the twenty year anniversary of the beginning of a WrestleMania streak that has yet to be compromised, and is still talked Continue Reading...
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Headlies: TNA TRADES JEFF HARDY TO REHAB FOR SCOTT WEILAND / UPDATE – HARDY TRADED BACK TO TNA, WHO WILL NOW HOLD LOCKDOWN IN LEGIT PRISON TO ACCOMMODATE HIS SENTENCE / TRIPLE H CONTEMPLATING BUYING BLU-RAY PLAYER WITH BOX OFFICE GROSS FROM “THE CHAPERONE”

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:41
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here TNA TRADES JEFF HARDY TO REHAB FOR SCOTT WEILAND By Justin Henry Orlando, FL – In a startling development, Total Non-Stop Action has traded former two-time TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy to an Unchained Futures, a rehabilitation facility Continue Reading...
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Headlies: HEIDENREICH EXCITED ABOUT JOINING ANIMAL FOR WWE HALL OF FAME INDUCTION / CODY RHODES TO ATTEMPT TO DUPLICATE HIS FATHER’S SUCCESS BY TALKING NON-STOP RHYMING GIBBERISH / PAUL ROMA “VASTLY UNDERRATED” CLAIMS PAUL ROMA

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:37
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here HEIDENREICH EXCITED ABOUT JOINING ANIMAL FOR WWE HALL OF FAME INDUCTION By Justin Henry New Orleans, LA – The WWE Hall of Fame induction ceremony will take place Saturday night, April 2, at the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, GA. Continue Reading...
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Headlies: JOEY STYLES CELEBRATES THREE “REBELLIOUSLY EXTREME” YEARS RUNNING WWE.COM / JACK SWAGGER TAKES OUT OVERSIZED NOVELTY TEETH, PUNISHED FOR REVEALING NORMAL SMILE / COLT CABANA PROVES THAT JUST ABOUT ANYBODY CAN BE NWA CHAMPION

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:35
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here JOEY STYLES CELEBRATES THREE “REBELLIOUSLY EXTREME” YEARS RUNNING WWE.COM By Justin Henry Stamford, CT – Since leaving the ECW broadcast booth in the spring of 2008, Joey Styles has diligently and tirelessly put much time into running WWE.com, the Continue Reading...
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Headlies: REPO MAN TO STEAL ALBERTO DEL RIO’S CARS UNTIL PAYMENTS ARE MADE / RODERICK STRONG “CAN’T WAIT” TO BECOME FORGOTTEN WWE MIDCARDER / TNA SIGNS AL WILSON JUST TO PROVE WWE ARE FRAUDS

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:30
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here REPO MAN TO STEAL ALBERTO DEL RIO’S CARS UNTIL PAYMENTS ARE MADE By Justin Henry San Luis Potosi, Mexico – While Alberto Del Rio may be on the “Road to WrestleMania”, the #1 contender for the World Heavyweight Championship Continue Reading...
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Headlies: JACK TUNNEY FAKED DEATH, WILL BE REVEALED AS ANONYMOUS RAW GM / SON OF TNA’S ABYSS “BLADES” DURING SCHOOL PLAY TO KEEP CROWD INTERESTED / AREA HOTTIES TO ATTEND NWA FANFEST, MESS WITH HOPELESS VIRGINS

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:21
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here JACK TUNNEY FAKED DEATH, WILL BE REVEALED AS ANONYMOUS RAW GM By Justin Henry Toronto, ON – Despite reports that he had died in January 2004 of natural causes, Jack Tunney, once the “esteemed President” of the World Wrestling Continue Reading...
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Headlies: RANDY ORTON REVEALS HE’S ACTUALLY A ROBOT FROM THE FUTURE / SHANE HELMS FOLLOWS SHAWN MICHAELS TO SOUP KITCHEN “JUST TO KEEP HIM IN LINE” / “TERRY GARVIN JUST WASN’T INTO ME” CLAIMS LONELY, BITTER SHANE DOUGLAS

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:17
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here RANDY ORTON REVEALS HE’S ACTUALLY A ROBOT FROM THE FUTURE By Sean Carless & Catherine Perez Stamford, CT – He hears voices in his head. For pro grappler Randy Orton, 30, this is not only the familiar chorus of Continue Reading...
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Headlies: SENILE KEN PATERA, GRIMACE HAVE ‘UNEASY’ TRUCE AT CONVENTION / RIC FLAIR TO BUY OUT TNA CONTRACT BY SELLING KIDNEY / MARK HENRY, LONG-LOST SON REUNITE

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:13
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here SENILE KEN PATERA, GRIMACE HAVE ‘UNEASY’ TRUCE AT CONVENTION By Justin Henry Fort Washington, PA – At the recent comic/sci-fi/wrestling convention in Fort Washington, former WWE Intercontinental Champion Ken Patera was on hand to sign autographs for fans and Continue Reading...
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Headlies: US HERO WITH GOLDEN TRUNKS BECOMES HOMELESS MAN / DIXIE CARTER “SURPRISED” TO FIND TNA DVDS IN FYE BARGAIN BIN / TUPAC-BIGGIE FEUD BEGAN OVER STAR RATING DISAGREEMENT

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:01
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here US HERO WITH GOLDEN TRUNKS BECOMES HOMELESS MAN By Sean Carless, Catherine Perez Orlando, FL – Once a national icon who inspired millions to train, say their prayers, and eat their vitamins, semi-retired pro wrestler Hulk Hogan has become the Continue Reading...
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Headlies: MATT HARDY TO HEADLINE WRESTLEMANIA 27 ON “SMACKDOWN VS. RAW 2011″ / FORECASTERS PREDICT BIG SHOW’S ANNUAL HEEL TURN WILL COME “EARLIER THAN EXPECTED”

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 10:59
Text by Justin Henry; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here MATT HARDY TO HEADLINE WRESTLEMANIA 27 ON “SMACKDOWN VS. RAW 2011″ By Justin Henry Cameron, NC – Matt Hardy has finally realized his dream, and will get to headline the 27th annual grand spectacle known as Wrestlemania. The 36 year old Continue Reading...
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