Another
year, another Los Angeles Lakers NBA Championship victory
under their belts. A real close call too. Celtics were leading
the whole game then faltered in the very last quarter and
couldn't regain their lead. I'm guessing the players were
having more fun watching Jack Nicholson's reactions than playing
the game, I know that's the big reason why *I* watch Lakers
games (seriously, Nicholson is the best). Personally, my loyalties
lie with the New York Knicks but I'm guessing it's safe to
say they won't win an NBA trophy during my lifetime.
Or
your lifetime.
Or
your children's lifetime.
Or
your grandchildren's lifetime.
Or...well,
you get the jist.
Where
was I?
Oh
yeah, Jack Nicholson is a Lakers fan, just like Vince McMahon.
What's
that? You didn't know Vinny was a fan of the purple and gold?
Then you must have not been watching Raw back in
May of 2009.
Consider
us jealous.
You
see, by skipping out on the show, you missed a Vinny Mac hissy
fit for the ages, one that led to him pledging his allegiance
to Kobe Bryant and the boys. In a nutshell, WWE had booked
their RAW taping at The Pepsi Center a year in advance to
take place in May of 2009. However, The Pepsi Center and E.
Stanley Kroenke, owner of The Denver Nuggets, came to a verbal
agreement, AFTER the WWE had been booked in The Pepsi Center,
for Game 4 of the NBA Western Conference Finals between the
Lakers and the Nuggets to take place at the arena. Despite
the fact the WWE had a written contract that granted them
use of the Pepsi Center on the exact date, the verbal agreement
superceded the written one and the WWE was shut out of The
Pepsi Center in favor of the hometown Nuggets.
Now
we don't blame for Vince being upset. We won't even bring
up the fact that WWE often cancels shows and give arenas less
notice than what Kroenke gave WWE on a fairly regular basis.
We could bring that up, but we won't.
(Note
from RD: Pretty sure you just did.)
Oh
yeah, you're right. Oh well.
Back
to Vince. Did he have a right to be angry? Yes.
But did he have to waste several hours of WWE TV to throw
a temper tantrum on air?
| The
situation actually created major publicity for WWE and
was talked about on ESPN shows such as SportsCenter
and my personal favorite, Jim Rome is Burning.
I'm kind of surprised Jim didn't get cute and start
calling Vince "Ed".
(Note
from RD: You're talking Rome, not Chris Berman!)
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Vince
(who looks EXACTLY like Tony Randall in that screen
cap) accused Stan Kroenke of not having faith in the
team to book them in the Finals way ahead of schedule,
and of bad business practice.
This
from the man who OK'd a Kevin Nash WWF title run,
King Mabel, and created the World Bodybuilding Federation
and the XFL.
|
He
says he bears no ill will toward the Nuggets team,
which won't last long, and holds up a Kobe Bryant
jersey to present to Kroenke.
Oooo!!
Well played, Mr. McMahon!!
Snap
and BURN!
Score
Vince, 2. Kroenke, zero.
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And Triple H apparently has to comment on it as well
cause the world wants to know what he thinks because
he isn't nearly getting enough promo time on television
as he was in 2002.
Shouldn't
you be knocking Stephanie up with more future soap
opera named babies?
|
Anyways,
Vince decided to take the high road, look past this
unfortunate incident, move ahead and book an entertaining
wrestling program with young up-and-coming talent
and engrossing feuds that will draw money.
Ha.
Ha
Ha.
HA
HA HA HA!!!!!!!
If you believed any of that then I've got Blockbuster
Video stock with your name on it.
In true Vince fashion, he decided to make this issue
front and center of his RAW television show, despite
the fact 99.9% of wrestling fans really didn't give
a crap.
And
he went to the trouble of booking the RAW show that
was supposed to be at the Pepsi Center at the Lakers
home arena The Staples Center.
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Even
having a Stan Kroenke...or Ted Turner(???)...look-alike
to go on a very long in-ring monologue insulting the
promotion and the fans. You know, I've noticed the
ONLY time people on RAW get any kind of genuine heel
heat reaction is when they dress up like someone famous
or they're Kevin Federline.
(Note
from RD: Ahh, K-Fed. If ever there was a guy who should
be the mystery GM on Raw, it's that guy. I'd totally
mark out if Michael Cole revealed the emails he's
reading aloud these days are from ibangedbritneywordup69@gmail.com.)
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| By
the way, there are about 300 cutaways to the signs in
the crowd during this segment. Probably the most I've
seen with the exception of times during times of bad
PR when WWE needed "the fans still love us!"
reassurance. Almost as if to say, "you may think
this segment is pointless and unnecessary, but look
at all these people.
THEY
CARE!!!!"
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For
the record, Stan Kroenke never booked Katie Vick.
Just
saying.
|
| While
Stan/Ted complains about the graphic of him having devil
horns while Vince has a halo on his head (IRONY~!),
Vince comes herkying and jerkying down the ramp. For
some reason Stan looks shocked to see Vince, despite
the fact he's on VINCE'S SHOW.
It's
like when Hulk Hogan kept expressing a look of "shock"
when Elizabeth would drag him out to ringside every
week to save Randy Savage.
After
the 3rd time if you're still shocked, you're officially
an idiot. |
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Vince
jokes that he's going to start a new basketball league
and call it the "XBA".
Somewhere
the WrestleCrap Radio Crickets are chirping.
But it'll be a failure cause Stan and his staff will
be running it. You are a card, Mr. McMahon. Can I
get an Arsenio "WHOOP WHOOP!" on that?
|
After
he complains that Stan/Ted didn't call him up (incidentally,
I'd like to think one day Stan will call him up and
say, "Vince I'm in the wrasslin' business"),
he makes fun of the pretentious first initial in "E.
Stanley Kroenke" and says he never met anyone
with a first initial as a name before.
Ahem,
I beg your pardon sir, but have you not heard of a
little character actor out there named "M. Emmett
Walsh"?
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Vince
says the "E" stands for, "ENOS"
. He says, "ENOS!!
YOU'RE AN ENOS!!" about ten times as Stan/Ted
covers his ears, oh so ashamed.
Right.
|
There's
a famous Hall of Fame (that you can actually VISIT)
baseball player named Enos Slaughter.
So
what?
|
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But
Vince demonstrates his razor sharp wit by rhyming "Enos"
with...a certain male organ he doesn't mention but keeps
implying.
I can't fathom why people say RAW is nothing but a Saturday
Night Live wannabe sketch show where "wrestling"
is next to nil. |
Vince
ends this 40 minute segment by telling Stan/Ted that
he thinks he can push "The WWE Universe"
(ugh) around but "The WWE Universe" (gag
me) pushes back, and demonstrates by shoving Kroenke
to the mat.
Yeah,
you're doing it for the fans, are ya Vince?
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And
then we get a big "LA Lakers" Vs. "Denver
Nuggets" main event tag match that reminds us
all, in case the point hasn't been hammered home,
the Nuggets in the form of The Miz, Cody Rhodes, Ted
Dibiase Jr., The Big Show and Randy Orton (aka "The
Bad Guys You're Supposed to Boo"), will be defeated
by the Lakers in the form of MVP, Jerry Lawler (cause
he was desperately needed as much as the previous
segment and this match), Mr. Kennedy, John Cena and
Basketball Jones himself, Batista!
|
| Anyways,
life went on afterwards and the Nuggets were eventually
defeated by The Lakers in the real life playoffs. |
|
This
ranks right up there with many of the pointless "doesn't
further the company or fans in any way" segments on Raw
in the very recent years. Considering most of the "WWE
Universe" (wretch) didn't care about any of this (we're
talking about a Gooker nominee for 2009 here) and was gypped
out of seeing actual wrestling and feuding that mattered in
the context of the program, it's my opinion that in the end,
Vince McMahon Jr. is the real person that pushed the "WWE
Universe" around with impunity.
And
you know what? I've never seen Vince in Laker's colors since.
Better
watch out Vince - if he finds out your just a poser, Jack
may go all R. P. McMurphy on your ass!
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