Jobber
of the Week: The Gambler
Text By Blade
Braxton
Note
from Blade: You can't think about watching WCW Saturday
Night in the 90's without thoughts of this guy getting squashed
on a weekly basis.
You
got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. Know
when to walk away, know when to......get your ass kicked?!?
Those aren't exactly the lyrics Kenny Rogers crooned way
back in the day, but I think those words sum up this week's
Jobber Of The Week better than ol' gray beard's original
version. While my generation grew up watching the Mulkeys
and Iron Mike Sharpe getting pummelled on a weekly basis,
they had all but vanished by the time Generation Y rolled
around and started watching wrestling. As countless new
fans tuned in record numbers to witness the fresh antics
of the NWO, the funfilled, silicone-jiggling action of the
Nitro Girls, and half of the NBA's active roster step into
the ring, a new jobbing icon was on the rise. One that -
in my opinion - became THE whipping post of the 90's. He
was perhaps the world's last 100% full-fledged piece of
nationally televised enhancement talent. The one and the
only. The token stealin', card flingin', taxi cab ridin'
son of a gun himself - the Gambler.
Our
bumbling low roller first appeared on WCW tv screens in
late 1993. Going by the name of Jeff Gamble, he - much like
all of WCW at the time - wallowed around and didn't make
much of an impact. He soon dropped the Jeff name and took
on the alias that would later become famous. As the Gambler,
he stuck around for a little while longer, but much like
a casino in Vegas whose slots aren't hitting, you gotta
hit the road and try the next one. His next stop was destined
to be the only ever jackpot he ever hit.
April 15th, 1995. A mid-nineties day like any other day
for everyone back then. For the Gambler, it was the best
day of his career. The day he hit it big. Teaming up with
Brickhouse Brown, they defeated all 297 pounds of PG-13
to claim the USWA tag team championship. After a long dry
spell, he finally tasted some gold. The good times didn't
last too long, however. Logic dictates if your partner's
gimmick is patterned after a song sung by Lionel Ritchie,
then you're in for a rough time.
And
sure enough, after a two week title reign, PG-13 regained
the straps from Brickhouse and the Gambler. After tasting
success in Memphis, he decided it was time to return to
where it all started. It was time to reattempt to strike
it rich in WCW.

Upon
his return, the Gambler sure was an odd sight to behold.
He looked
less an Atlantic City high roller than a long lost relative
of Colonel Sanders. After initially looking like he was
auditioning for the lead in Pepsico's future summer blockbuster
known as KFC:Episode I - The Leg & Thigh Menace, he
wisely changed his looks.
Adopting a slick looking satin jacket, the look-a-like bug
struck him again. The Gambler was now a spitting image of
Arn Anderson. Look at this pic of them together and see
if you can tell who's who.

He
may have looked like Arn, but he had one thing going for
him that Double A never did. Props. Who could ever forget
his that legendary deck of cards? You talk about intimidation.
Hacksaw Duggan has a 2X4? Ha! That ain't nothing compared
to how bad the Gambler could muck you up by flinging a 3
of diamonds at you. And if the Road Warriors tried bullying
him around and the s#!t was sure to hit the fan, the Gambler
could always break out his jumbo-sized magic playing cards
(on loan from the Black Scorpion of course) to try to even
the odds.

Looking
back at how deadly he was with the cards, it got me thinking
about something. Nowadays comic book movies are all the
rage. We've seen Kevin Nash star in the Punisher, and soon
Triple H will cameo in Blade 3. I think Marvel really missed
the boat with the Daredevil movie. The main villain, Bullseye,
was lethal in his marksmanlike card-throwing. That role
was custom-made for the Gambler, and Marvel goes and gives
it to Hollywood wussy boy Colin Ferrell. Geez. Compare these
two shots and tell me who you would want to have kicking
Affleck's ass on film. No wonder that flick bombed.


Despite
his groundbreaking gimmick, it didn't help the career out
much. Years were spent making everyone else look good on
WCW Saturday Night and Worldwide. Perhaps the Gambler's
biggest match would be when - after months and months and
months and months of hype for the debut of Glacier - he
faced off against him in the Mortal Kombat wannabe's debut
match on WCW Pro. Sure he went down in defeat to the master
of the hard, soft, and semi-erect fighting styles, but hey,
at least he got a little main event time.
Sadly,
that was the only real highpoint that stood out in his time
there. The years and losses mounted, but as 1999 approached
he did what all wise bettors do. Before risking too big
of a loss, the Gambler finally folded.
For
a man who was around the mainstream for the better half
of a decade, he surprisingly is shrouded in mystery. I was
barely able to uncover his real name. Supposedly it's Jeff
Gann. Where the greatest and most talented enhancement talent
of the Monday Night War-era is right now, who knows? Perhaps
these guys
here might have a better clue than I do.
A very wise..excuse me..very drunk Jake "the Snake"
Roberts once mumbled on a national pay-per-view, and I quote,
"to gamble you must accept losing." Our JOTW definitely
took those words to heart. He may have come up short in
the win column, but if it came down to picking WCW's Jobber
of the 90's, I think most everyone - even Pete Rose - has
got his money ridin' on the Gambler.